Wednesday, 03 May 2006

If you can see this website, then Typepad's doing OK.

We went out last night to have a late birthday dinner at Mike and Soozes, which was lots of fun (cause we hadn't seen them in a while) and they gave me the most wonderful gifts for my birthday! 

We came home to several increasingly frantic messages from Auntie that Boots was inaccessible!  Oh dear.

Typepad apparently is suffering a "sophisticated Denial of Service (DoS) attack" - meaning that most typepad blogs were unloadable for good chunks of yesterday.  Perfect timing, of course, since Derrick at Obsession with Food is working on the Is My Blog Burning roundup, so hopefully our entry will go up in the next couple of days.

On a happier note, at least for me, I got to hear Brandy on the way into work today.  That left me happy.

So, DOO de DOO de DO DOO de do DE DOO.

(In more interesting news for other people besides me, there are some honeymoon pictures posted to Flickr that will likely get a post of their own sometime later today.)


Wednesday, 01 February 2006

The Best Website Ever (for now): Look up your name!

There is a part of me that is absolutely fascinated with social statistics.  I love charts (occasionally, though I do have a deep-seated hatred of the pie chart) and tables.

That's the reason I've been spending like 80% of my spare time here:

At the Baby Name Wizard NameVoyager!

This thing is seriously fascinating.  Try your name!  Try the most common names of the girls and boys you went to school with!  For me, it's interesting to see that there was a reason half of the girls in my class were named Sarah or Jessica or Rachel (even) or perhaps Heather or Hannah. 

The accompanying blog is engrossing, also - the author helps in picking out oddities, including pointing out that "Wm" and "Geo" were both in the top 1000 for boys' names at the turn of the last century because these common abbreviations for William and George were often entered on birth certificates.

You can pick out trends in names - for instance, did you know that consonant clusters in general have fallen out of fashion (think Gertrude, or Wilbur) though starting a boy's name with "Tr" is the new hotness? 

Try German names, like Helga and Hildegard - see when they were popular?  It's like a social studies and history and geography lesson all rolled into one!  (Why didn't I get my ass kicked in school more often?  I sure don't know.)  Try Adolph, for an interesting result...  Or Laci, or Monica, or Shirley (Temple!) or Paris (Urkblah!).

It's your turn to go find your own, now.  I'm not going to do all the work around here - I actually have to do my job now.  The one I get paid for.


PS - Check the name "Logan".  Ha!

Monday, 16 January 2006

Runon sentences and falling heads

I was going to come home today and post a little story about how I went out for Chinese for lunch, and a guy came in and ordered vegetable fried rice and asked them to put chicken in it, so the waitress said, you want chicken fried rice? and the guy said, no, vegetable fried rice with chicken added, so the waitress said, sure, that'll be an extra dollar, and the guy said ok, and as the waitress walked away he said - actually, think you could add some shrimp, too?

Some people.

Like I said, I was going to post that story, and what's more, actually make an attempt to make it fun to read, but then I went to this blog and found this game with all the crazy falling heads and it doesn't have a pause, at least that I can find and I CAN'T STOP PLAYING IT WHY CAN'T I LEAVE THE COUCH?

Warning - don't click on the link to that game if you have any plans for, say, the next six hours or so.


Saturday, 14 January 2006

Why I Sympathize with Online Daters

So, OK Cupid, that site I signed up for to take that politics test?  It's also a dating/meeting friends kind of site, so they sent me a list of 10 people living in our general geographic area, just to look at.

This list really makes me feel for people who turn to online dating.  I'm sure there are plenty of lovely people on these sites, but it looks like you may have to sift through thousands of toadyfrogs to get to one princelyfrog.

Here are some examples, from the list I was just sent:

I spend a lot of time thinking about: various things. I love thought and analyzing things.  (ooh, deep.  I'm sure this person is a great conversationalist, as long as you want to talk about things.  And stuff, perhaps.)

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here is: As a man, I admit i'm vulnarable. I'm a big dude, and people don't take the time to know you, they judge you. I love beutifull women to, and i'm not gonna settle for something, just to fit the status quoe. (sigh.  I'm not certain what this means, but I can tell you this is certainly one person who could have benefited from a spell-check.)

My self-summary: I'm Christian. I consume Dungeons and Dragons and Beer at My Apartment. (wow.  This guy really knows how to get a lady all het up.)

My self-summary: Im a lover and a fighter. I enjoy existential reads and the deep dark prose of camus, satre, nabokov, kerouac and burroughs. I'm a blissful companion, but slowly tire of shallow aquantences and court either the feverent thinkers or the pang of introversion. (huh?  This illustrates the intersection of thesaurus and lack of dictionary.)

My self-summary: What do you call a 23 year-old guy who still owns a lightsaber ? ..Who wears a kipa and a prayer shawl even though he wasn't born of Jewish blood? ..Who wears more black than a Catholic priest? ..Who actually considers himself a priest ? ..Who speaks in tongues? (backs away slowly)

To be perfectly fair, I have no idea what I would write in an online dating questionnaire, but I'm pretty sure I'd make an effort to 1) proofread and 2) not sound completely insane.  Of course, each of these people answers a lot of questions, and I'm sure ok cupid has just pulled out the dumbest answers they gave.  Right?

I'm sure there are plenty of lovely folks out there, who turn to online dating to meet people, and now I have to say just how much I'm pulling for them over here!


Monday, 02 January 2006

Lookit our new sidebar!

So, I spent a little bit of time the other day playing with our sidebar content here on boots, as you may have noticed.  The thing I like the best is that flickr badge, on the left under "flickr photos."  Clicking on any of the pictures will take you to our flickr photostream, which you can also reach by following this link, if'n you wanna.

Hope you like it - please be careful with it, I'm not sure the badge is fully affixed to the screen yet.  :-)

Thursday, 27 October 2005


As you may remember from this post, I have really fond memories of growing up with the White Sox.  South Side!  I remember them losing more often then not when we'd go to games, though - but what a year this year was!

Anyway, congrats and all to them!  I can hardly believe it... 88 years? 

Looking around online, I found this fight song... bless me if I have any idea how it goes, but maybe some of the old-time Sox fans can help me out!



(ahem... this song sounds like it's not very good.  But, anyway, WOOOOO!)


Saturday, 15 October 2005


Well, home alone today... Husbear's poaching eggs and shredding potatoes, doing prep work for Enoteca's brunch.  The brunch seems to have been well received, so that's good.

I'm thinking I'll do some shopping today for the trip to Florence - five weeks from today, baybee!  Still waiting to get my passport back, but I don't think I'm at the point yet where I should start getting worried; I only sent it off three and a half weeks ago.  (Not that I'm counting.)

Last year for Chrismukkah, Husbear made these and gave them to me:

Moneyboots Christmas 2004

He told me to take them shoe-shopping.  I've been holding on to them (yes, I KNOW it's been like 10 months), because I wasn't sure what to get, plus something in my heart quakes at spending that much on a pair of shoes... but I think they'll outfit me nicely with maybe a new outfit AND a pair of shoes.  (don't tell him I probably won't spend the whole amount on shoes!)

If you want to make your own moneyboots, here are some instructions.

Have a good weekend!


Monday, 26 September 2005

And people say cats can't be trained.

We don't know what he did to deserve this, but when we find out, I'm sure he's got more coming.

Saturday, 04 June 2005

What the @#$%?

Generally, I like cats.  I'm a big cat fan.  In fact Mme. Pants and I live with two adorable fatbots, The Wonder Dumplings.  However.  Recently I have discovered a very enertaining and often quite funny website called KittenWar

It's great. It pits two (or sometimes small groups) of cats or kittens against each other to see which is the cutest (or fugliest).  Then it keeps stats on each cat to show how many times it has won or lost and to whom.  Ok, so it's great for wasting time.

Anyway, most of the cats fall within the normal range of cat physiology, but then yesterday, I found what could only be a cruel trick of God.


Or maybe it's photoshoped.  Someone please tell me it's photoshopped.  If not, well... maybe it will grow into it.  Good luck little dude.

L. Pants

Tuesday, 26 April 2005

Do these look 26 to you?

As you may have guessed from the previous bubbly post, my wonderful and gorgous wife as well as a small porcupine are having a birthday today.  Hell yeah.

Let me be the first to pass along this traditional birthday greeting fom our friend Jonnavitula Srinivas:

On your birthday, we wish to see you as captain of the Indian cricket team that is because as good a player as you can only be the captain of the Indian team. But, at the same time we don't want your batting to be effected. If you can manage both things that would be the greatest moment of Indian cricket.

Wishing you a Happiest Birthday.

It's warming to know that people around the world love her as much as I do.

Happy Birthday you specktacular she-devil!

                                                                                            L. Pants

Happy birthday Girlie!

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday it's my birthday
happy birthday to me

This baby porcupine now shares my birthday.


Thursday, 21 April 2005


Isn't this the best?  If you can't follow the link, here's a nicely relevant quotation or two from today's Witchita Falls (Texas) Times Record-News:

"Did your teen-ager look sleepy-eyed yesterday? Did he disappear around 4:20 p.m. to join his friends? Did he eat everything in the house? Or order a pizza and eat the whole thing?"

"Yesterday was 420 Day, also known as Stoner's Day. The day for "getting high" is well known by students but virtually unknown to adults, according to National Public Radio commentator David Marcus."

And et cetera.  What world are people living in that they don't know about 420? 

Anyhoo, happy late 420, to those of you who celebrate it!  And to those of you who would like to denounce it as another indication of the weakness and moral turpitude of today's youth, lighten up.

Kisses, Girlie

Wednesday, 20 April 2005

This is fun. No, seriously.

I just found this awesome thing on Bitchypoo.  It's a test to tell you what kind of English you speak.

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English
15% Yankee
10% Dixie
5% Midwestern
0% Upper Midwestern

Anyway, check it out .  See the things you learn about yourself from blogging?


Why sweet Jahova, why do you taunt me with tiny mechanical boxes of man's own designing?  Have I not been a decent soul?  Why must these so called aids in computing mock me with a gleeful perniciousness?  Have I brought pain or dispair to some innocent silicate kin of theirs?  Merciful maker bring me peace from these mercurial demons of alloys and plastics.

Take my checkbook and cards of credit, I beg you.  Just please deliver unto me a ciphering cube free of malice with a winsome coating of reliability and staunch trustworthiness.  Punish me no more!      L. Pants

Tuesday, 19 April 2005


Well, the computer problem turned out to be a cracked motherboard.  Isn't that AWESOME?!?  At least we haven't had car problems totalling almost $2,000 US since the first of the year.  What?  We have?  You're joking!  You must be, you unfunny bastard!
I guess, silver lining, Sr. Pants has been working a lot longer on this dreck movie than we had anticipated, so at least he's being paid well for his time. 
The two of us went laptop shopping yesterday, first at the computer megastore and then at the electronics juggernaut.  It's pretty amazing -- laptops are half the price and twice the strength they were two years ago, when we got the laptop we have now.  He's dithering between a vaio, a toshiba, and a dell, pretty much, but he's getting really frustrated because every article he reads recommends a different one of the three, for a different reason. 
Plus, the computer he had that just broke was a toshiba satellite pro, and he had already replaced the keyboard, the hard drive, and the battery, so he's a little skeptical of the reliability stats for that particular brand.  (Of course, the reason the keyboard had to be replaced was because our friend Greg Proops spilled a glass of water on it while we were out of town, so maybe it's to be expected.)
Anyway, whatever he gets, I'm sure it will be lightweight, sexy, and totally breakable, so it's not like the decision has lasting ramifications beyond like two years or so.  He's pretty hard on machines.

Tuesday, 12 April 2005

Razzle FriginFragenSchmrfn

So, Sr. Pants' computer is on the goldarned fritz. It's been shutting itself off with none of the usual provocation. We took it into our local PC Guru and will hopefully be getting it back tomorrow. Until then, he's stumbling around like a man with one stumpy arm-- there's like 4 things he needs for his job, car, camera, laptop, and something that's slipped my mind just now but will certainly come back as soon as I post this.
Anyway, it's pretty crappy right now. My sweetheart of an auntie has sent me a gmail invite, but every time I try to open it, it crashes my work computer, which is running Mac OS 9.2 and has like netscape version -.2; less than helpful. Of course, setting up my gmail means I need to come up with a clever, yet not dirty, name to call myself. All the good ones are taken. Sigh.

Monday, 04 April 2005

April Fools

Well, I know I'm a couple of days late to be posting anything timely about April Fool's Day, but since it's my blog (well, mine and Sr. Pants) I can do what I want, and you can't stop me. Did you want to stop me? Because, well, that's really too bad.
This was a pretty lame April Fools. A girl at my work changed all of our nameplates around. Wacky. At least she made the effort-- it's not like the rest of us did jack, so I have no room to judge here. That was it, though. I was on my toes all day, too, but for nothing. I still feel like I'm too new at this office to be playing around on days like April Fools.
Question: When is it "April Fool's" and when is it "April Fools?" Because the last thing I would want to do is promulgate bad grammar on this blog.
So, this "holiday" always reminds me of a horribly formative experience I had when I was 5, on THE VERY DAY. I was always a chocolate freak, and a little gullible to boot. One day, a girl in my class brought a tray of yummalicious brownies to school for the class to share. I should have been suspicious right then, but I was 5, and still had on the rose-colored glasses and whatnot, and had yet to arm myself with my cloak of distrust and pessimism. So, I ate a brownie. Then I ate another brownie. Then, I ate the brownie of a kid sitting across the table from me, who had foolhardily elected not to finish his tasty snacklet.
Then's when it got gross. I burped and tasted a tantalizingly familiar taste; what could it be? What the hell was that grossness? That little bitch put SOAP in the BROWNIES. With her MOTHER'S HELP. May I ask you, what kind of crazy mother helps her child play a joke like that on a kindergarten class? The trick was especially insidious because the chocolate covered up the taste of the soap until you finished eating; then, the strange aftertaste ran up and kicked you in the mouth.
Children were running around, bumping into each other and screaming. Parents were called. A teacher frantically ran to the store to get a giant economy-size bag of oranges for us to eat to try to get that taste out of our mouths. When my mother came to pick me up three hours later, she surveyed her daughter, bubbling at the mouth and covered in orange pulp, and said "Well, there goes that outfit."
I think she called the school the next day to ask who the hell thought that was a good idea.
Of course, these days that would never happen. You can't just bring crap from home for other kids in the class to eat while you stand in the corner and snicker. I don't know if that's a positive development or not, really. I mean, I definitely learned a lesson that day-- don't trust goddamned kindergarteners. They're sneaky little bastards.
-- Girlie

Sunday, 27 February 2005



Saturday, 26 February 2005


very slowly.

                    -L. Pants

Friday, 25 February 2005

Why the Hell are These Connected? Seriously.

Sometimes, if I pluck an errant eyebrow hair, it makes me sneeze.                         God bless physiology.

                                                                                            -L. Pants

Thursday, 24 February 2005

Who's Poop's in the Corner?

             That’s the question.  There are five inhabitants in the house. Me and my lovely wife, M. Girlie.  A friend from college, J. Proops, who’s staying with us for a while.  And two fluffy balls of innocence and nonchalance, the Dumpling Twins.  Those are they players.

            Perhaps in a moment of hyper-lucidity I was able to grasp the true meaning of the Cosmos. Then after returning to the normal state of bleak reality I somehow forgot how that was all connected to me pooping on the floor.  Possible.  But unlikely.

            Maybe this was a not so subtle clue from M. Girlie that she was unhappy with our relationship.  The first step in a series of bizarrities that would crescendo in unspeakable crimes against nature and culminate in a messy divorce.  Doubtful.  She seems too happy for that just yet.

            There was always J. Proops.  I thought back to our college days.  The incident with the donkey and the deep cleaning wet-vac.  Or that unfortunate occurrence with the extremely large amount of Nair and the respiratory hoses.  But that was a long time ago. And funny.  This seemed to lack a certain amount of depth and panache.  Besides, it was a very tiny pile of poo.

            Unfortunately, I knew it couldn’t be either of the Wonder Dumplings.  Both of our cats had been litter trained for years.  They had the box, they had the knowledge.  We had been upholding our end of the bargain –food, water, a warm home to sleep in.  I looked down. It was clear that they too wanted to catch the perpetrator.

            “Who could have done such a ghastly thing in the corner?”, their eyes seemed to say.  Still, I didn’t trust them.  But there was no good way to pin it on just one of them. And unless my understanding of anatomy is highly confused, it couldn’t have been both of them at once.  Safety in numbers. Damn.  It’s only a matter of time though, before one or the other slips up and shows his hand.  Next time we’ll be ready.  The poop saga continues…

                                                                                                                 -L. Pants

Wednesday, 23 February 2005

Tramps like us

Ugh.... being in an office environment at 6:30 in the morning, by yourself, is not a fun prospect... especially when the last song you heard before getting in was "Born to Run." And of course, my mind working overtime has to change it to "Baby we were born to WOOORRRRKKKK" which is just much more depressing than it needs to be. Then, I have to get in the car at 8:30, and who is on the radio? Springsteen doing "Dancing in the Dark", so I get back to the office with visions of Courtney Cox dancing around with a giant drill bit coming out of the top of her head, tool that she is. Why didn't anyone tell me that it's Springsteen day? Is there something I'm missing, not being from Jersey? I should probably stop drinking so much coffee in the mornings. Urgh. -M. Girlie