Yeah, not quite.
Actually, not even close.
Now we have a reason to return.
We did put a muffuletta-sized notch in our belts over Christmas, though, and followed that with several sazeracs, some absinthe, and a pool full of oysters! Wanna see?
We only had a day to spend in New Orleans, and we got a very late start out of Mandeville.
First things first: Lunch!

We met up with our friend Robert, who needs a nickname, and made our way over to the Central Grocery - with one stop to buy a hat, which you'll see later. They're the originators of the now-famous muffuletta sandwich (which my spellcheck refuses to recognize, but my stomach does).
This was pretty late lunchtime, but there was still a substantial line.

Luckily, there are all sorts of things to peer at and poke while you wait your turn. Like cheese. There was a $50 tray of anchovies in the cooler, too, but surprisingly few people were poking those.

It would be easy to be paralyzed at the front of the line, having waited all that time, but luckily your choices are extremely limited. There's muffulettas, half or whole. And a few kinds of drinks and some chips. They advertised a couple of different kinds of marinated veggies, but nope... all out. Ah well.

The three of us ordered one sandwich and two bags of chips to share. These sandwiches are monstrous - though we did see a couple of people who'd ordered a full sandwich for themselves. They looked confused and chagrined.
This picture makes me want to hum the theme from 2001.

By the way, Zapp's are some dang good potato chips. I don't know if they're distributed nationwide, though I remember being able to get them in South Carolina. The spicy creole tomato are a plus one.
And the sandwich? Besides being huge, which we've already established?

Surprisingly good. The bread is nice and full of sesame flavor. The meats and cheeses were ok, but the true star here was the olive salad. Theirs was full of olive halves, and included carrots and cauliflower in fairly large chunks - more like a olive-heavy giardiniera than the chopped mush you often see on muffulettas.
I think the sandwich would be even better if you let it sit for a while, to let that tangy salty salad really soak into the bread.
After lunch, it was time for a walk around the French Quarter. And self-portraits. Indulge me.
This is Robert and The Hat. And us. We loved his outfit, as did lots of drunken middle-aged tourist ladies! (This is one of the reasons I love New Orleans - it encourages people to really dress.)

The stores in the Quarter are always fun to walk through. Lots of them specialize in feather boas and enormous beads and tourist t-shirts, but there are some pretty great finds too.

If you spend your time in New Orleans only in the Quarter, it's easy to forget about the storm that hit here over two years ago. Except for the omnipresent anger. The real devastation was outside of the quarter, where whole neighborhoods are still rubble. It's absolutely ridiculous and infuriating to me, so I can't even begin to imagine what the people that lived and live there are feeling.

I had a small shopping errand I had to run at the Lush outpost. They were in the middle of a HUGE after-Christmas sale - think buy one, get two free - so we were there for quite some time and ended up spending a bit more than we meant too. I was in such a frenzy I forgot to take pictures of the shop.
We emerged from Lush just before 6, I'm sure stinking of their perfumes (you can smell their stores around the corner), ready to have our first drink. I've lately become a little obsessed with the sazerac, which I had for the first time several months ago here in town. Turns out that not only is this one of the oldest cocktails, it's also quintessentially New Orleans. Bill, the bartender at Fino,(and the best bartender in Austin as far as I can tell -L. Pants) told us we had to have the sazerac at the Napoleon House in New Orleans. So.
We turned up at the stroke of 6, ready to begin our sazerac-inspired tour of the Big Easy, only to be greeted by a big CLOSED sign. NO!
But there were still people drinking inside! It turns out that the Napoleon House closes at 6 because of a lack of staff. Again, blame Katrina. Husbear went inside to speak to the bartender, Lenny, who relented and allowed us inside for one drink apiece. YAY!

The Napoleon House is one of New Orleans' truly historic bars - it's in a 200 year old house that first belonged to a mayor of the town in the early 1800s. The name may seem incongruous, and the bust over the bar out of place - but it's not. In 1821, the house was offered to Napoleon in exile as a place from which to presumably plot his triumphant return to France... but oops, he died before he could take the city up on its offer.
Now, we only need to go to St. Helena to complete our exiled Napoleon world tour! (Here's our visit to Elba last Spring.)
Lenny made us three beautiful Sazeracs. They were everything Bill had promised. These were made with Herbsaint - I wonder if bars will start making them with absinthe, now that it's legal again?

Robert was dressed perfectly for the bar and the drink.

Though there were still a few people left at the bar, we quickly moved on after finishing our drinks. It was really nice of them to let us in.
Onward and upward! Not very much upward, though we did have to climb a few steps to get to our next bar. It's a true American oddity housed in the Hotel Monteleone.

The Carousel Bar was installed in 1949. The name sort of gives it away - it's a round bar that revolves around a center area filled with bartenders and bottles of liquor. It's sort of hilarious to sit there at the bar, ever moving to the right. It's probably less enjoyable after a couple of drinks, though - I certainly wouldn't end my evening there!
A couple of drunk older men rearranged half of the people at the bar so we could sit there - we bought him a sazerac in thanks. Thanks, Jimmy Dale! You were hilariously good company.
These sazeracs weren't nearly as good as the ones from the Napoleon House. They ran out of the "sazerac" rye whiskey they were using and topped it off with bourbon! No no!

Plus, these were three dollars more apiece than the Napoleon House's version. Now, I'm willing to pay a little extra to experience the bizarre carousel bar, but not for more than one drink. So, onward!
To food!
Next stop, after passing up long lines at the Acme Oyster House, was the Bourbon House Seafood and Oyster Bar. And their sazeracs, of course.
Better than the Carousel Bar's, but not up to the Napoleon House.

While we sipped on these, we perused the menu and ordered a buncha oysters and some crab fingers - a cute name for cracked crab claws.
The trio of cooked oysters was the first to arrive - we had oysters Rockefeller (spinachy, though I gather that's not traditional), Bienville (shrimpy/cheesy), and Fonseca (sausage/tomatoey). They were very, very rich. I'm not really a fan of cooked oysters, but the toppings on these were so creamy and yummy that I'd definitely recommend them.

This bar was a little crazy when we were there, by the way. We were surrounded by people, some of whom had probably been drinking since they got out of bed, and this led to a couple of hilarious run-ins. At one point, a drunk Atlantan (North Atlanta I might add) probably in her 50s followed Robert outside (he was having a smoke) and sang Tom Cochrane's "Life is a highway" - with one astonishing difference...
"Life is a HIGHWAY," she sang; "I wanna ride YOU all... night... long."
Then adding, by way of explanation, "It's the hat."

Meanwhile, inside, some dude in flip-flops was making his way up and down the bar, grazing. "You gonna eat that? How about that?" The conference-goers to our left donated a couple of baked oysters and a crab finger.
In the midst of all this, we ordered some raw oysters.

The one on-duty oyster shucker was pretty overwhelmed by the crowd pressing against the bar, not to mention the full dining room. He was working slowly and methodically, and while we may have had to wait a while for our oysters, they were very tasty and well-cleaned. We sympathized with his busyness when he came to deliver our platter, and he must have liked us, because later on he dropped a couple of truly enormous guys on our plate, "for the lady".

MINE MINE NOM NOM UMPH.
Where should we tote our bellies, now full of oysters?
The Old Absinthe House, of course!
Why not? Absinthe was illegal in the US for 95 years. Now that it's legal again, we had to order some in a bar - and the Old Absinthe House seemed ideal!
We were a little surprised when they set fire to the absinthe. Not traditional, but lots of fun. Apparently there's a society of peoplethat are pissed to no end to learn of this travesty... methinks some people should just sit back and perhaps have another slug of absinthe, mixed just so with the proper spoon and ice-cold water? Calmate, per favore?
Sometimes setting things on fire is fun, no two ways about it.

After this, the picture-taking stopped for several hours. Another bar was visited, then One-Eyed Jack's, where we danced for several hours to '80s music. Yes, we dance. RARELY. Robert, I blame you! And the 1980s!
Our night ended at Molly's at the Market with a big ol' greasy pizza. Yum.

Phew. No worries - we'll be back. We have to try more than three sazeracs, of course!
Happy weekend!
Central Grocery, 923 Decatur Street, New Orleans. 504.523.1620. Lunch only... until like 5 pm.
Napoleon House, 500 Chartres Street, New Orleans. 504.524.9752. Limited hours for now - call ahead.
Carousel Bar at the Hotel Monteleone, 214 Rue Royale, New Orleans. 504.523.3341.
Bourbon House Seafood and Oyster Bar, 144 Bourbon Street, New Orleans. 504.522.0111.
The Old Absinthe House Bar, 240 Bourbon Street, New Orleans. 504.523.3181.
Molly's at the Market, 1107 Decatur Street, New Orleans. 504.525.5169